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Nobody owes you anything

21st Apr 20182m51s

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  • This is a follow-up to my previous video which was about how you are 100% responsible for the quality of your life. So in this video I just wanna talk about one of the side aspects of this, which is that nobody on this planet owes you anything. I actually came across this idea from I think another video I watched on YouTube, I've forgotten which one, and it was really powerful, it really struck me. And when I thought about that idea I realized that it was a byproduct in a way of this idea that you are 100% responsible for the quality of your life. Because if you really embrace this idea about responsibility then you don't get upset as much anymore with what people may say, do, or think, to you or about you. And in a way you're already practicing this other concept which is that no one owes you anything. No one, and it's true, no one owes you anything. And what I mean by this is not that if you're polite to somebody they shouldn't have to be polite back to you, or if you do something for someone they shouldn't have do to something back to you, or reciprocate your kindness in any way, I mean I'm not saying they have to do that, but of course it would be nice if they did and a lot of times we expect people to because that's just common courtesy. But fundamentally, the deep level, the truth is people don't really owe you anything, and you can't expect them to reciprocate what you give to them. Because people ultimately are looking out for their own interests. I'm not going to use the word selfish interests, some people may say everyone's ultimately selfish and that's what it is, it doesn't even matter, the point is that even you have someone who's really kind and really generous, they may be having a bad day, and they just need to look out for themselves that day. So you never know when someone's gonna let you down, you never know when someone's just gonna say something or do something that's just off, and that's just not on. And of course, if it's your close friend, or a close family member, or someone who you're close to, you don't expect them to take anything out on you. You don't expect them to treat you in such a way but even in those cases it could happen. People don't even owe you the truth. This doesn't mean you don't hold them to account. You can still hold that person to account, either directly by confronting them with this, or just in your mind deciding not to engage with them as much in the future. But you should never be disappointed over the long term that someone's let you down. You may be disappointed in the moment, that's just natural. But over the long term, if you have this understanding that people ultimately will say what they say and do what they do, and think what they think, and that you have no control over it, then you'll be able to deal with these things easier, and these things won't bother you as much over the long term.