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Be open to who a woman is

14th Feb 20173m10s

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  • A lot of us guys, when we want to date a woman, when we want to approach a woman, we go in with this mentality of needing to be assertive, to be confident to be a man, because by and large, we find that that's what works, that's what's necessary. And so every time we see someone that we're interested in, we go in with that mental approach and we think, "She's a woman, she's somebody I'm interested in "and I need to operate in this way. "I'm gonna be myself but I need to be assertive, "I need to make certain things clear, certain things known. "I have to be sexual at some level," and the thing about that approach is, we fail to see the uniqueness in that person from the get-go because we're treating them as an objective. And I've been thinking about this lately and I think a different approach is gonna yield more fruit. I think if we approach somebody and allow ourselves to be open to discovering who they are, then we're more likely to first of all figure out whether that person is someone we're gonna click with, and secondly figure out who that person is and how they tick. Because if you think about it, you're not going to click with everybody you meet, whether it's a man or a woman. No matter how hard you try, no matter how interested you are in somebody, as you get to know them, either you find that it's really gonna work, or it's not gonna work, or somewhere halfway. And you can try and force it but eventually you will come up against that. So it's better to go in initially with this open mind of discovering who that person is and the thing is, that allows you to see the uniqueness in that person because everybody's unique, everybody's different, rather than treating every woman you meet, for example, as a caricature of what you think women are like or what you think they want. And that's actually going to get you better results in the end because you're going to be able to connect with that person better, because you're more open to who they are rather than who you think they probably are. So guys, don't rush in with preconceived notions about who the person is or what you're supposed to do or say. Allow yourself to discover who this person is first. Allow them to present themselves to you, and then you can decide to rush in if you want. And of course you're still going to be assertive, you're still going to, you know, be your best self, you're going to present your best self. But at the same time, you're going to do it in a way which allows you to more intelligently assess whether the person you're speaking to is the right kind of person for you.