Success is the greatest revenge
14th Jan 20179m02s
- If you're like me, like most people, then, you hate it when people screw you over, when other people betray you, when other people let you down, and I can think of so many incidents in my life where something like this happened where someone either treated me like crap, they let me down, or they betrayed my trust in a really bad way, in a way that really hurt. And I think about this afterwards, I think about what that person did or what those people did and I just wanna get them back. I mean, I think to myself, you know, someday I'm gonna get that person back for what they did. I'm going to get that person back for how they treated me. I'm going to show them what I'm really made of. And sometimes, something similar would happen later on and it would remind me of that original incident and it would just make me even more angry about it. Partly angry for letting that happen to me in the first place and angry at the other person, the person who did that thing to me. It could have just been calling me something abusive, some cuss word or just being passive aggressive towards me. I had a boss who was passive aggressive towards me. When he was a dick, there was things that I learnt from him, things that he taught me indirectly or directly that made me better at my job and at the same time I left the company, partly because I just didn't like working with him anymore. And sometimes when I think back about that guy, I think, man, I just want to meet that guy one day and just teach him a lesson. And sometimes the anger in my mind, it gets so much that I almost, I just, kind of, visualize myself being violent to that person. Because, thinking of that brings me some level of satisfaction. You know, It's the one way where you can always have that person's attention, 100%, if you're being violent to them. You have their respect in that moment, 100%, because you're beating down on them, you're dominating them, and you have the satisfaction in that moment, 100%, again, because you're dominating them, physically dominating them. No matter what someone says to you, they can use the most sophisticated language and arguments to run circles around you, but every human being is ultimately as fragile as any other human being. Skin and bone, arms, legs, head. So, if you can physically dominate somebody, you can always gain a level of control over them. And I think that's where my mind would generate those sorts of images when I thought about getting back at people who I felt wronged me, who I felt had betrayed me. I would generate those images because, from an intellectual point of view, I knew, yeah, well, that image of me physically dominating that person, well, that is real, that is really getting back at them. And then I think it through, I think to myself, well, what if I really did that? What if I really met this person, this guy someday and I just launched on him and just beat him up? And I think, how would I feel so good about myself? I don't really wanna be that person who beats people up. I don't wanna be that person. What if it backfires? I try to beat them up but I can't. That would suck, right? You come out as the big man, all ready to punch. Turns out, they're tougher than you. Shit. But then I ask myself, Would I really feel better after doing this? Would I really have overcome the feelings that I had when they originally hurt me in the way I perceived them to have done so? And the truth is, I know I wouldn't. I'd feel a little bit better but, I wouldn't necessarily change their mind about me. And it got me thinking, what other way in which, what other ways can I deal with this? You know, they say that success is the greatest revenge. Now what that means is, you can't change who that person is, you can't change what that person thinks of you, necessarily, by beating them up, by making their life hell. But by you becoming successful and you achieving something great in your life, you can show them and everyone and yourself that you're not defined by how they treated you. That's the key. Here's a little something into my video on racism. You can't be better than a racist by also being racist, by also being bigoted yourself. You can't be better than the person who treated you like crap by lowering your standards to being somebody who beats them up just because you can. It feels good and it feels damn good if you can do that. Of course you'd feel good but that satisfaction will only be short-lived. But to truly be successful in their eyes, in your eyes, most critically in your eyes, to truly achieve something, you can go beyond whatever it is that they did to you. However it was that they treated you, people will do what they did, people will be who they are, and whatever that person or those people did to you, however they treated you, that defines who they are. That's the choice that they made, they chose to be that way. You don't need to let that define you. You don't need to let that rule you. You can move beyond that and you can become the best that you can be in your life. And keep going towards that and you don't need to prove it to them, either. You know, that person treated you like crap. From that point onwards, that person's opinion of you no longer matters. It doesn't matter. And it can be annoying when you know this person to be a dick, and other people don't think they are, other people really like them and think they're something special. Cause you want the world to see the truth of this person and the world isn't seeing it and it's so frustrating, it can be so frustrating. It can be so frustrating. And you can choose, at that point, do you let that go or do you make a fuss about it? Try and convince other people of who that person is as the way you see them? That's a choice you can make but it's not gonna give you mental inner peace in the long-run because if you're thinking about them and you're getting angry thinking about them and you're replaying what happened to you, then you're just gonna be upset. It's just going to keep affecting you - what happened. What happened was in the past. It's gone and done but because you keep thinking about it over and over again, you can't really get over it. The only way you can really get over it is, in a way, to let it go out of your mind, to let it stop defining who you are in this moment, to say, you know what? That person, that's who they are. I'm not gonna live my life thinking about that. I'm not gonna let that define me. I'm gonna be who I wanna be. I'm gonna set a higher standard than that person. Maybe they won't see it. They don't care, they're who they are. Maybe even the people around you don't see it, but at some point in the future, it will bear fruit. You setting that higher standard will bear fruit for you. And that way, success is the greatest revenge. Hey, thanks for watching the video. If you want to keep up to date, just subscribe for more videos below or you can get in touch with me on Twitter, Facebook, by email or check out other videos on my website halfatheist.com.