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Stop being racist to white men

9th Jan 201716m47s

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  • If you look at the media landscape today, it seems to be far too popular right now to blame white people and specifically straight white men for a lot of the ills in society. I mean I was just seeing a tweet by Lauren Duca who's famous for the spur she gets in with the Tucker Carlson where she says that straight white men are generally trash. And this isn't the first time someone in public has expressed that kind of sentiment. I mean I met a girl recently who was telling me that white privilege is real problem in America and that white people and white men in particular ought to take heed of that, and ought to adjust their behavior or to be more conscious of affect their whiteness ie just being who they're born to be. The effect that are has on minorities. And we have the black lives matter movement, we have the recent abduction and abuse of the mentally handicapped white teenager by black teenagers and black commentators on television saying it's not a hate crime, it's just a stupid thing done by some young adults who don't know any better right? I mean what if the roles have been reversed? What if it been for white kids who'd kidnapped and then abused mentally handicapped black kid. I'm sure there'd be a massive furor about this or Trump's election. The idea that Trump got elected due to white supremacy because of all these white people who voted for him are doing so out of racism, out of their hatred for minorities. Despite the fact that of course most white women also voted for Trump. You know it's funny how that doesn't get mentioned as much. People just wanna talk about white men. And this is sort of general hatred for white men because white men are seen as the constituent components of the patriarchy which led to invasions of other cultures, which led to slavery and such and such. And I find it disgusting. I find this rhetoric, I find this this animated hatred towards white men and white people. I just find it disgusting and I'm not white myself. I'm one of the minorities that black lives matter and other such groups supposedly speak for even though I can say categorically they do not speak for me. When I was growing up in the UK I experienced racism. Mostly from white people, actually entirely from white people. when I was teenager I moved to India and back here, I again experience racism mostly from white people. Again from black people sometimes from Chinese people, and I can tell you that being the victim of racism, it's a terrible feeling. Nobody wants to be made to feel that way nobody wants to feel like who they naturally are, the skin color they're born with, the ethnicity that they're born into. Nobody wants to be made to feel bad about that. You don't want to feel ostracized, you don't want to get hurt basically. We all seek love from the day we're born, we all want to be loved, we want to be loved by the people close to us. We want to be accepted by our peer group, we want to be accepted by society in general. So when someone comes and says something racist to you or does something racist towards you, it feels horrible because you're being told that you're not only not loved you're hated. And that experience has led me to realize that I don't ever wanna go and be racist to other people. I mean there are times where I think someone's been racist to me and afterwards I get angry when I think about it and I angry when I think about that person. But I never then go out and and then determine in my mind that I'm gonna go out there and show hatred to other people for what that person did. Sure a lot of white people were racist to me when I was a kid but most of the white people I meet today have got absolutely nothing to do with that. In the same way the most of white people alive today have nothing to do with the white people who committed slavery, the white people who went and invaded eastern lands. I mean what relation is there? Even if they're related by blood let's say you know somebody who's the descendant of a slave owner, does that tarnish this person in any way? I don't think it does. I mean if you think about it, in the old ancient times, there's a lot more fighting between tribes, different tribes of humans. There was a lot more competition for the same resources without any of the cooperation we see today. Without the United Nations, without any such institutions or channels of diplomacy. So, in effect I reckon that a lot of us are here where we are today as a result of our ancestors having fought and bled in battle, and conquered in order to procreate and allow their genes to continue into the next generation. So at some point my people, Indians will have taken slaves, will have invaded other lands, will have had will have fought and I'm not saying that that those are good things but I'm saying that there's a part and parcel of my past, as a part and parcel of your past and everyone else's. So it's unfair for me to hold slavery or hold the British invasion of India against a white person that I meet today. It's just it would just be unfair of me to do that. Of course I still acknowledge that because of those things, countries like India for example had massive setbacks right? And because of those things, maybe my culture and my people who were progressing while at one point maybe they sort of fell back to an earlier level of development. And they've had to play catch-up ever since. Those arguments are perfectly valid to make. But blaming people who are descendant today from the people who did those things isn't gonna improve our situation. It's just not. Seizing the opportunity, working hard and getting out there making the best of ourselves is gonna improve our situation. And so this is what I think when I see this, this rhetoric being directed at white people and white men in particular, this hatred towards them it's disgusting because and it's not it's not only disgusting, I feel it's stupid. Because it's not even tackling the problem the way it could be tackled. Well about that MTV video which is trying to tell white guys then they need to do a lot better. What exactly do what guys need to be better at? I don't get it. I mean if policemen in America a white policeman kills an unarmed black man somehow collectively all white people are responsible right? But when four black kids have ducked and abused a mentally handicapped white kid somehow oh it's not the responsibility of black lives matter or anybody like that. No because they're not connected to these four black kids. Well then most white people aren't connected to the policeman who may kill an unarmed black man. Yet we seem to be blaming them for this. Because we seem to be saying oh well it's this white culture of supremacy and racism and patriarchy that leads to these things in the first place. Well why isn't it the opposite also true? I mean black lives matter the rhetoric that they sort of express all the time. I mean at some points even calling for the murder of cops, calling for white genocide. I mean they're even white people who've called for white genocide. Why are we as critical about these people? Aren't they feeding into a similar narrative of hatred towards another group based on that way that group looks? And of course it's because white people are seen to have been the ones in power for so long that this sort of hatred, this sort of disgusting racism is allowed to happen. But my experience, my past experience teaches me that this isn't the way forward, this is wrong. If we really wanna live in a world where we go beyond racism, we have to take the steps to move beyond it. I can't cure bigotry in other people by becoming a bigot myself. Because what that makes me is a hateful person, every time I think of that person, I'm gonna be feeling hatred. I'm gonna be feeling unhappy inside. Which means that my life is gonna be unhappy and this is despite that person perhaps not having even done anything to me, to make me unhappy. This is just me thinking and becoming unhappy. I mean this is a problem with safe spaces. The problem with the people who are triggered because they saw someone had written Trump 2016 in chalk on the University campus. I mean that's an expression of an idea, and you associate racism and hatred with Donald Trump and that's why that expression is triggering you. But did the person who wrote that, is that really who they are? Do you know that's who they are? And then you're trying to get that banned because it makes you feel unsafe. Why not engage with that person? Why not engage with that idea? This is isn't a threat of violence coming towards you. This is someone expressing an idea and maybe it's a dirty disgusting idea, like this idea that I feel people are expressing. This disgusting idea of hatred towards white men. But I also engage with people to express this idea. I want to try and show them why I think they're wrong to go about it that way. Of course there are problems right? I experienced problems as a minority in my country. I experienced prejudice every now and then, I experienced racism every now and then. And I understand there are other people who experience far worse than me people who are trapped in structural poverty. Maybe in in in urban areas in America. People who have had a much more visceral experience of racism more recently than I have. Because one of my visceral experiences go back to my childhood and believe me they sear. You know they get seared in your mind as memories. And they affect who you are as a person. I mean to this day I struggle sometimes with my identity as a race, because of the things that happened to me. But the answer to that isn't to go out there and then be hateful to other people and be racist to other people. The answer for me is to rise above that, to create a compelling life story. Why when people meet me they can sense that I've achieved something. Well I know I can rise beyond those people. If some guy comes and he's racist towards me, if I'm racist back to that guy I'm no better than that guy. It's almost like I've watched what he's done and I've taken lessons from it and now I'm regurgitating it. I don't want that person to be my teacher, I wanna stand my own ground. I wanna be my own person, I wanna set a higher standard. 'Cause that's what's gonna really redeem me. Mahatma Gandhi led the Satyagraha movement in India. One of the core tenets of his movement was non-violence. Even when the officers would beat him down and beat his supporters down, he neither he nor his supporters would react violently. They would take the beating. Why, is it because they were stupid? Of course they weren't stupid. It's because they wanted to hold the higher moral ground. There was a redeeming quality about that. Now I wanna be clear I'm not saying that if someone comes and attacks you, someone comes and says nasty things to you, you should absolutely not defend yourself. I think you should defend yourself. But what intention are you holding in your mind, in your heart as you're defending yourself. Are you full of hatred for that person? Or can you defend yourself? Deal with the situation and continue onwards without hating that person. Because if you hate that person, then every time you think of that person, you're going to feel the hatred. You get to feel the unhappiness. And you can't actually move on from it. This is even if you want. And then you start to think about people like that person, and you start to feel the hatred even more. And actually you're ruining your own inner mental life. And that's not worth it, that's not worth it. And I know it's hard, it's just really hard to do that. But ultimately your life, your emotions, your thoughts are your responsibility and life is short. And you can't live your life, you don't want to live your life, feeling that kind of hatred. It's not gonna take you to the next step in terms of relating to your fellow human being. I mean I can't stress this enough, this hatred towards other human beings whatever the reason may be, whatever painful experience you have that's making you do that. That is not the final step, that is not the final conclusion for you. Maybe you go through that phase but you have to go beyond it to a sense of love. You have to go beyond it and find even almost a sense of forgiveness. Now I'll admit it's not easy for me to forgive. And I'm not quite able to do that. Now people say that you have to forgive your enemies, forgive people for who they are ultimately. I struggle with that. But I have got to the point where I don't harbor hatred for people. I get angry in the moment and I get angry I might think about it, but I quickly move on beyond it. Because I know it's not gonna help me to stay that way. So what I see out in the media, black lives matter these sort of social justice warriors, people with guilt about their quote white privilege. I mean these people are just holding on to this. They're holding on to this and they can't let it go. And now they're trying to popularize this idea. They're trying to rationalize it in the wider media so much. So that they can justify to themselves why they feel the way they feel. Oh it's justified for me to feel hatred towards white man, because hey, all these other people agree with me. And this is the reason why we have problems. Meanwhile of course, race relations aren't really moving forward at all. In fact they're just regressing. And then you've got people on side calling up people on this side for being hateful, people on this side calling up people on this side for being hateful. And this is there's just no improvement. It doesn't it just doesn't go forward from there. They're always gonna be people who can't see beyond your race. I mean I get this all the time. And I'm not even talking about racism, I'm talking with people even coming and saying to me, Oh you're Indian? Yeah your parents must have a nice girl saved up for you somewhere. Are you probably gonna marry her right? Just this sort of stereotypes people come out with. They don't know anything about me my background, where I'm from and they just say that. They almost want me to conform to the image they have of me. You can never get away from that. And the far end, in the worst case people are gonna be racist to you. They don't like the way you look, the way you look reminds them of someone who did something to them perhaps. Whatever right? So you can't change people's minds like that. And complaining about it isn't gonna help those people aren't gonna change. Because them being the way they are makes them feel good about themselves. Then coming in saying those things to you makes them feel good about themselves, that's why they say those things to you. But you have to be able to get past those things. Just for your sanity's sake, just for the sake of your life for you to live a fulfilling life. You have to carve your own identity in your own mind. You know the world be damned. the world's gonna see you a certain way but you carve your own identity and you push forward with that. And you create lasting relationships with people who are open-minded. Seek out those people because there are people like that, there are people who have truly open-minded And were truly open to loving relationships. Find those people, connect with those people. Do something compelling in your life, craft an identity and in due time even people who initially weren't warm to you, will be able to sense that about you. And they will warm to you. They'll be able to see past the stereotypes and the cliche ideas they have in their mind about who they think you are. And they'll be able to see the real you. So that's my advice for people who are concerned about this, concerned about racism if you're minority. No we're not going to get past racism by being racist to each other, we're gonna get past it by first having self compassion and then learning to love each other. And that comes from being strong within ourselves, understanding that we all have stereotypes and ideas of each other. And until we actually get to know each other at a deep level, we don't know what the other person is like we don't know who the other person really is. So that's the key thing. You know it's easy to tarnish people with a broad brush and go well all these people are like that, all these white men are like this or all these black people are like that. No it's harder to actually get to know each person. Yeah some black people might be the way you think they are. Some white people might be the way you think they're. But doesn't matter not everyone's the same. And you're never gonna find out who people really are, you're never going to really connect and really find love, if you keep just standing at a distance, painting with broad brushstrokes. Hey thanks for watching the video. If you wanna keep up to date, just subscribe for more videos below or you can get in touch with me on Twitter Facebook via email or check out other videos on my website halfatheist.com.