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Embrace frustration

1st Aug 20164m11s

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  • We all like to think that hard work and discipline will enable us to achieve our goals. And we look at other people who are successful and we see that this is what they did, for the most part. And so we think, you know, if I just work hard, if I do the same thing, I too will get to where I wanna be, but of course, a small part of us knows that nothing in life is guaranteed. You can work as hard as you want, and for as long as you want, but you still might not get the result that you're looking for, and that's just life. And so, it gets frustrating, when we don't get what we want, and it's worst of all, worst of all, if you're someone like me, who pushes themselves really hard, and you're trying to achieve success in all areas of your life, then you're gonna experience a lot of frustrations, a lot of obstacles, and sometimes it gets you down. Sometimes, you ask yourself, what's the point of all of this? Why am I doing this? If it's so frustrating, why continue? Why keep doing something that you don't enjoy? Why keep doing something that doesn't bring you joy? But this is part and parcel of the personal growth cycle, it's part and parcel of any sort of goal achieving process in life as a whole, because the thing about life is there's no guarantee that life is gonna turn out good. There's nothing written anywhere saying that your life has to be a content, happy life at some point, or ever, and part of the reason for that is because life isn't under your control. The only thing you can control is how you react to what happens. So the answer to feeling happy with yourself, feeling happy with your life, and living a contented life is within your own mind, and within how you perceive things that happen to you. So by holding perspective, which doesn't require you to achieve your goals in order to be happy, you can actually learn to be happy, no matter what the outcome of all your hard work is, and that's really the most effective way to approach things, and part of that means that you have to get used to being frustrated. You have to get used to not getting what you want, because that's going to happen a lot in your life. Even when you get what you want, at a later point in time, you might lose it, or something might change, or what you want changes, and so, therefore, what you already have no longer matters to you. And that also is part of life, part of living, and these frustrations will never really end. But of course, they can stop feeling like frustrations if we start to accept that these things will always happen, and that this is part of life, if we start to accept that we don't need for these things to always work out exactly the way we hope for them to work out, that's not really necessary. Of course, this is much easier said than done, because most of us want things to work out. Of course we do. We want to be happy, we want everything to happen the way we want it to happen, and for different people, that line's different. Some people draw the line at nature. For example, I wanna control the people in my life, I wanna control the things that I do, and the outcomes that I get, but stuff that happens in nature, such as, as in storms or things like that, I don't really mind. Other people draw the line a bit further up, which they say, "I wanna control everything that I go for, "I wanna get the goals that I want, "but what other people do, how they react to me, "I'm willing to accept that I can't control that." The most effective approach, of course, is to realize that you don't really control anything, except how you react to things, and your attitude. So you might not get the goals you want, you might not get the outcomes you want, and that that's okay. So in a way, what we realize is that it's really hard to make life perfectly into the way we want it to be, and what you have to do is work with what's in front of you and create, I guess, a sense of perfection out of that, and that takes practice. It takes practice to mentally retrain yourself to approach life in that manner, because you still want to go for your goals, you still want all the things that you want. You're just now going for them without having any expectation of what the outcome's going to bring, and you're, in a way, having to tell yourself that that's okay, and that you can be happy with that, because at least you gave it your best.