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Follow your heart, own yourself

30th Jul 20166m26s

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  • One of hardest things to do is trust your own instincts, and your own ideas for who you should be, and who you should become, especially if you're young. When we're growing up we have so many people around us telling us what we should do, how we should do things, what sort of job we should aim for, what kind of life we should aim to have, and the typical messages that society, and when I say society, I don't just mean the people close to you. I mean, just generally in society. The general messages, the general themes that your particular society, your particular culture might cling to. Might be for example, marriage. Get married by a certain age, do this kind of work, don't do this kind of work because it's low pay, or not respected by people. This is just a small subset of the many, many messages that we're getting all the time. This is something that I've struggled with a little bit in my life because I know what I want, and then what other people are saying also makes sense in some ways, and maybe they've lived a little longer than me, and so they know a little bit more about it than I do. And so I can't completely rule out what other people are saying. It's important that I take in information from all different areas as much as possible, even if at the end of the day, I'm the one who's gonna have to make the decision. But lately, I've been thinking a bit more about this and about how I want you to approach handling this. The one truth that I realized is that everyone can tell you what they think you should do, and who they think you should be but nobody can tell you who you're supposed to be in this world. Nobody can tell you what you're supposed to do because nobody can tell you what your future is. Nobody has seen who you're going to be in the future. Even you don't know. Even you don't know. You know what you want to do. Your heart has a particular desire. You're uncertain about where it will take you. You don't know if it's going to get you to a good place. And that's how life is. And you don't know that and neither does anybody else. So, if you decide, you know I'm just going to ignore what other people say and I'm going to just do what feels right to me. Well you know what? You're perfectly justified in doing that because nobody knows where your future's gonna look. No one can tell you this. On the other hand, if you decide to listen to what other people say and go with their choices and their words, that's also perfectly valid. That's also justified because ultimately it's up to you what you do. But going with the latter, going with what other people say, risky though it may be, in my opinion, it always feels a little less risky than going your way which is diametrically opposed to other people's way. For example, if people say you should go out there and become a doctor. I mean, people in Asian cultures know what I'm talking about. A doctor or engineer because those are respectful professions but you just want to be an artist. And you know the life of an artist might not be as easy as the life of a doctor or engineer but you really want to do this. But you still want to end up in a good place. Nobody wants to end up in a bad place. Nobody wants to end up destitute or ostracized by society. We all want to end up in a good place despite following our heart's desires. So, it's really brave to follow your desire despite not knowing where you're going to end up because if you choose the doctor or engineer route, and that's not your desire, at least you know that you're probably gonna end up well in a good situation because most people you know are doing that and they're ending up in good situations. If you don't know anybody who did what you want to do, then it's hard to know whether it's gonna work out for you. But that's the risk you're taking. And what is life if not to feel the experience of being alive? And how are you going to feel that without taking risks? Without trying something new? Without pushing yourself? So, I feel like being yourself and following your instincts, following your heart, that approach is braver, riskier and ultimately I feel more rewarding even if you don't quite end up with the level of success you were hoping for. Because at least you took a risk, and at least you learnt something about yourself. And it's just a question of whether you can handle the situation, whatever situation it may turn out to be, if you have the confidence that you can handle it, then there's nothing to be afraid of. So in summation, be yourself. And own who you are. 'Cause, when you take a decision that other people disagree with, they may still come and nag you. They may still come and question your decision. Question the choices you made. And you may begin to doubt yourself. But if you can take that decision and really drag yourself in that direction and become that person that you want to be, even the people who disagree with the decision you made will have to accept that you own it. That you own your persona. That you own your identity. That, even if you haven't ended up to the level of success that they would have wanted for you, you are this person that you wanted to be and there's always a level of respect they will accord to you for that. So, don't be put off by the idea that they might be right at the end of the day and that you might be wrong and that you might not end up in the best situation possible. If this is what's in your heart, then follow it and if you don't follow it, then own it. Really become that person and drive yourself with full confidence in that direction. The truth is that most of us want things that are achievable, actually. And not only are those things achievable, they will also be the most fulfilling things for us because we want them at the deepest level of our hearts. We often compromise and do things that we don't really want because we're too afraid to go for things we really want. We'd rather live a safe life. We think, "Why take the risk "and end up somewhere bad?" But, actually, I feel like if you can take the risk, then there's always a chance that you end up somewhere even better than you could have ever ended up had you taken a different decision.